Great (And Still Boring, I Hope) News!
I love Ferrero Rocher hazelnut chocolates!
Let’s start first with the description on the back, as it accurately describes the magnificent chocolate morsel:
“Dear Consumer, thank you for purchasing Rocher chocolates. At the heart of Rocher is a whole roasted hazelnut and creamy chocolate filling inside a light crispy wafer, wrapped in milk chocolate and chopped hazelnuts.”
Get that? Not only is there a WHOLE ROASTED HAZELNUT in the middle of the spherical treat, not only is it surrounded with CREAMY CHOCOLATE, a CRISPY WAFER, and a layer of MILK CHOCOLATE, but you also get additionally bits of chopped hazelnuts inside that very final layer of chocolate. If this be not the desertly embodiment of all man’s desiring, what else could?
Certainly not Hershey’s Kisses, for they lack the hazelnut explosion, the light, crispy wafer, and orgasm-inducing creamy chocolate center. For a time, I was sure that Kit-Kats were king of all candy with their chocolate exteriors and crispy wafer interiors. But they too lacked creamy chocolate and hazelnuts.
Oh God yes, the hazelnuts and creamy chocolate insides make Ferrero Rocher chocolates truly divine. Let me now describe the exact sensations I feel as I devour this treat beyond all other treats.
Firstly, I unwrap the chocolate from it’s golden foil wrapper, and am awestruck by the sheer amount of hazelnut chunks in the outermost chocolate layer. I think to myself, “How can you possibly squeeze this much hazelnut chunks into a chocolate outermost layer without destroying the golden chocolate to hazelnut ration?” I put all thoughts aside as I bring the candy to my lips.
I decide to bite only half of the treat at first, though I could easily devour its entirety with one bite. My teeth slide easily through the outermost chocolate layer like a hot soldering iron through a thin slice of Danish (not Swedish, mind you) Havaarti cheese. They immediately make contact with the light, crispy wafer layer. I press on and am surprised at how truly light AND crispy the light and crispy wafer is as it shatters under my jaw pressure. And then, out of nowhere…
CREAMY CHOCOLATE CENTER rushes through the now gaping fissure in the light, crispy wafer layer. It is as if the Hoover Dam had suddenly given way when the creamy chocolate rushed into my mouth, like dammed water flowing without heed into a tiny unsuspecting village, preparing to wipe out the innocent women and children below who represent my preconceived notions of how good chocolates to taste. And like those poor women and children who drowned horribly in the now free dam water, my preconceived notions too gasped their last breaths on this earth.
My teeth continue their mission to reunite upper and lower and I encounter the centerpiece of the Rocher: THE ROASTED HAZELNUT CENTER! Hallelujah! I’ve died and finally arrived at chocolate-wafer-hazelnut heaven! The entire mixture melts in my mouth and I’m finally treated to a taste I’ve never experience before. The same taste Hannibal Lector might taste if he were to eat God Himself.
So, in conclusion, go to your local grocery shop and BUY AS MANY FERRERO ROCHER HAZELNUT CHOCOLATE CANDIES AS YOU CAN FIND. Go get them right now! I don’t care if it’s 2 am. Go stand in front of your local store until it opens. You simply have not lived until you’ve eaten a Ferrero Rocher chocolate candy.
Let’s start first with the description on the back, as it accurately describes the magnificent chocolate morsel:
“Dear Consumer, thank you for purchasing Rocher chocolates. At the heart of Rocher is a whole roasted hazelnut and creamy chocolate filling inside a light crispy wafer, wrapped in milk chocolate and chopped hazelnuts.”
Get that? Not only is there a WHOLE ROASTED HAZELNUT in the middle of the spherical treat, not only is it surrounded with CREAMY CHOCOLATE, a CRISPY WAFER, and a layer of MILK CHOCOLATE, but you also get additionally bits of chopped hazelnuts inside that very final layer of chocolate. If this be not the desertly embodiment of all man’s desiring, what else could?
Certainly not Hershey’s Kisses, for they lack the hazelnut explosion, the light, crispy wafer, and orgasm-inducing creamy chocolate center. For a time, I was sure that Kit-Kats were king of all candy with their chocolate exteriors and crispy wafer interiors. But they too lacked creamy chocolate and hazelnuts.
Oh God yes, the hazelnuts and creamy chocolate insides make Ferrero Rocher chocolates truly divine. Let me now describe the exact sensations I feel as I devour this treat beyond all other treats.
Firstly, I unwrap the chocolate from it’s golden foil wrapper, and am awestruck by the sheer amount of hazelnut chunks in the outermost chocolate layer. I think to myself, “How can you possibly squeeze this much hazelnut chunks into a chocolate outermost layer without destroying the golden chocolate to hazelnut ration?” I put all thoughts aside as I bring the candy to my lips.
I decide to bite only half of the treat at first, though I could easily devour its entirety with one bite. My teeth slide easily through the outermost chocolate layer like a hot soldering iron through a thin slice of Danish (not Swedish, mind you) Havaarti cheese. They immediately make contact with the light, crispy wafer layer. I press on and am surprised at how truly light AND crispy the light and crispy wafer is as it shatters under my jaw pressure. And then, out of nowhere…
CREAMY CHOCOLATE CENTER rushes through the now gaping fissure in the light, crispy wafer layer. It is as if the Hoover Dam had suddenly given way when the creamy chocolate rushed into my mouth, like dammed water flowing without heed into a tiny unsuspecting village, preparing to wipe out the innocent women and children below who represent my preconceived notions of how good chocolates to taste. And like those poor women and children who drowned horribly in the now free dam water, my preconceived notions too gasped their last breaths on this earth.
My teeth continue their mission to reunite upper and lower and I encounter the centerpiece of the Rocher: THE ROASTED HAZELNUT CENTER! Hallelujah! I’ve died and finally arrived at chocolate-wafer-hazelnut heaven! The entire mixture melts in my mouth and I’m finally treated to a taste I’ve never experience before. The same taste Hannibal Lector might taste if he were to eat God Himself.
So, in conclusion, go to your local grocery shop and BUY AS MANY FERRERO ROCHER HAZELNUT CHOCOLATE CANDIES AS YOU CAN FIND. Go get them right now! I don’t care if it’s 2 am. Go stand in front of your local store until it opens. You simply have not lived until you’ve eaten a Ferrero Rocher chocolate candy.
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