Programming Note

I'm home now, and I figure I can show most of you the rest of the pictures in person.

So I guess I'm going to stop.

Bye.

Actually I don't know. We'll see how I feel, just don't say I didn't warn you when this blog lays idle for another 2 years.

Wherein complaints are made and fatigue is discussed

Honestly, if someone offered to move my flight to right now, I would take it. Rome is utterly fantastic in every way shape and form, and my very presence here ignites a fiery passion and reverence in me only rarely felt before. That said, I just had the most gorgeous day here, and saw Rome from 3 different overlooking hills, and I ain't gonna top that. Won't even try.

Also I am very tired. And my feet hurt.

And now, the part where I distill a month of traveling into one, poignant sentence, which at once captures the very essence of differences that entice us and the similarities that welcome us across this great union of Europe, as well as expounds upon my newfound cultural understanding of these four great nations:

People talk funny over here.

Rome Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday

I saw some stuff. It was all fantastically amazing. Not in a mood to try and remember it all at the moment though.

Seeing the Roman ruins over on Palatine hill reminded me of how great Shadow of the Colossus was. It's true, that game totally nailed the look and the feel of gallivanting inside ancient ruins.

Hmm, there's an idea. Just pretend like I took these pictures (which I've lifted from Shadow), cause basically, this is what it looks like there:


The view from Palatine hill. If you squint you can see St. Peter's Basilica in the far distance. On the other side of the hill, you can see the Colosseum.


There's something amazing about standing on something that an ancient civilization used to, well stand on. Also, the column ruins give you pause when you start to think that they once held up some kind of magnificent roof, but now they stand purposeless.


Ok, I know this looks bad, but trust me, this guy is totally harmless. The park workers tell me that he's more afraid of us than we are of him. Note also the brilliant stonework of the ancient Roman builders, making use of Rome's abundant black volcanic rock. This is in contrast to Paris, which made use of it's white, sedimentary rock located under the city.

Monday. It's so close now.

Rome Days 1-2

As you might've figured, I can't upload pictures from this computer, so I have no motivation to post. It is sad because I cannot finish Paris or Berlin, and I can't show you any of the awesomeness from Rome. I even took some pictures with the intent of using specific captions, and now, all is for naught.

So instead, I'll just post the captions I thought of without pictures!

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Shit, yo. I'm Jesus. I'm the real deal! Ain't no frontin' here.

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Pope Pius VIII unfortunately looked away just as the sculptor was about to make this statue's pupils.

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Talk about a nasty splinter!

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Ahh the beautiful Spanish Steps, or as the Italians call them, something with nothing to do with Spain. I find the structure in the upper left to be by far the most beautiful architecture I have seen on my trip. Follow the lines slightly down and to the right for a surprise.

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Pope Benedict II is either trying to perform a Vulcan greeting or repping the West Side.

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Early Etruscan art very closely mimics ancient Greek art. Note especially the bronzed pita in the lower left.

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Most of the paintings in the Vatican Museum are quite similar to one another, by far the most popular being the baby Jesus sitting upon Mary's lap, his hand held in the teaching position. That makes this painting all the stranger, with Mary having turned the tables by sitting upon the baby Jesus.

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Many ages ago, this grassy stone pit would have been filled with naked Romans cavorting about during a bath. I think I prefer it this way.

Also it was pretty incredible to learn during the course of one meal:
-I've been eating salad at the wrong time
-Romans don't eat garlic too much
-Salad dressing is olive oil and white vinegar maybe with some salt (for the avant garde only)
-Balsamic vinegar is not for salads
-Pan pizzas and Hawaiian pizzas strike Romans like being slapped in the face
-The show "with the genius who is also stupid and wears glasses and suspenders from the united states, but also next door there is the father policeman" has unfortunately made it out of the States

Rome

I got into Rome yesterday, but it's been raining too hard since then to do/see much outside. Barely managed to get out to buy a sandwich today, twas raining so hard.

People here really hate making change.

Really, I'm totally lost without the pictures to guide my jabs.

Expect me to finish off Paris and Berlin shortly, I hate to have such a big backlog.

Berlin Days 4 and 5

On these days I visited the Jewish Museum and went to the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church. I did other things, but no photographic evidence exists, so let's pretend it never happened (actually I just went to the GDR museum and didn't like it too much).


Here in the Jewish museum, they have these mostly empty rooms called voids. This one above is the holocaust void, I believe. In any case, it's a really creepy concrete room with just one slit in it to allow outside light and sounds in.


The whole of the Jewish museum feels very 'new art' -ish. This was another void with the pictured art installation in it. It's really just a bunch of metal faces screaming, and you're supposed to walk all over them.


This man may be Humboldt, but thankfully the sculptor was named Ironique.


The Berlin Dome (with the radio tower in the background). This is a big noisy church that I did not go into. See prior posts for my irrational fear of being in churches. I still think it's a really cool building, at least from the outside. It is a common joke to refer to bald Berliners as "Berliner Domes." Oh man, everyone gets a laugh at that.


This is the Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church, made to memorialize Kaiser Wilhelm I. Everything was peachy until the British kinda completely destroyed it during WWII, leaving only this front tower part. After the war they built a new church right next to the ruins, seen in the left side of the picture, that waffle-y looking thing. But they've kept the remains of the original church, as a memorial to the original church, I guess?

Paris Pics Part 3

These pics cover 2 days in Paris, unlike the prior posts which each cover 1 day. On these two days I went to Versailles, went to the Arc D'Triomphe, and hiked up Montmatre (yes I am just guessing at these spellings, and when possible, I will spell differently each time).


All the doors in Versailles look like this. When I build a palace (following the reinstatement of the French Monarchy and my abrupt ascention into it) I will make the doors black and silver. I will call it Bizzarro Versailles, and everyone will think I am so cool.


This is Luis XIV. He was looking directly at me until I asked if his named was pronounced 'Siv', 'Shiv', or Sciv'.


So this is the hall of mirrors, and that is me, clearly using the room to its full advantage. It's hard to tell it's me, but trust me, I'm at least 75% positive I successfully took a picture of myself.


The view of the Eiffel Tower from the Arc D'Triomphe. It's a sad fact that you can't photograph the monument you are currently standing on in any great splendor. Thus you must climb atop another monument to take a good picture of it. Trust me, it's a cycle that never ends.


I'm trying to come up with a pun about doors or something, but no luck as of yet. It'd be easier if he were in a masoleum with, you know, an actual door on it. Turns out Oscar Wilde is in this same cemetary, his trademark wit only slightly hampered by time. And death.


I have no idea how to spell this one, but it sounds like Sock Wrecker, so let's go with that. It's big and sufficiently churchy, plus it's at the very top of a kickass hill. I always feel weird going into churches as a tourist since most of them are still active churches, and this one was no exception. I always know when I've overstayed my welcome, once my face starts melting all Raiders of the Lost Ark style.